This was sent to me by a friend. I have long been concerned about the danger and harm from diet sodas. Millions of people are addicted to them, and in most cases, they tend to be FAT. That may seem paradoxical that a non-caloric drink could make you fat, but such is the case. They work against weight control, and that is a fact. But, they do more harm than that, which you can read about below. There is no place for them in anyone's health program.
If you’re young, and you’re not a fan of classic movies, you may not know about Gene Tierney, but she was one of the great screen sirens of Hollywood’s Golden Age, meaning the 1940s. She was chosen to play the irresistible Laura in the 1944 movie of that name. But, Gene Tierney is also remembered as the star who suffered from severe mental illness- and recovered.
Though she lived to 71, she wrote her autobiography, entitled Self-Portrait, at age 58, which I just finished reading.
She was born into a well-to-do New England family, which meant private schools, country clubs, horses, boating, tennis lessons, and even a debutante ball when she was 16. She spent two years in Switzerland attending a posh boarding school where she became fluent in French. She was discovered in Hollywood when she was 17. Her family was on a vacation to California, and a friend had arranged for them to visit a movie set. The movie was being directed by the famed Russian director Anatole Litvak who was struck by Gene’s beauty. He invited her to submit to a screen test, which she did, and that resulted immediately in a contract offer.
Gene had never thought about acting before, but she eagerly wanted to do it. However, her parents would not allow her. But, her father offered her a compromise that he would help her pursue a career in theater in New York instead. That way, she would be close to home.
So, Gene pursued a career in live theater on Broadway for several years until her star rose high enough there that she was again offered a Hollywood contract which she accepted.
To understand Gene’s plight with mental illness, you have to understand that she suffered a lot of traumas in her life, and I don’t mean physical ones. Some very bad stresses happened to her, including the following:
-a complete falling out with her father after he abandoned her mother- and the whole family really – to marry another woman. He even wound up suing Gene for money relating to his having managed her career early-on, which resulted in Gene finding out that her father had been stealing from her all along.
-her marriage to fashion designer Oleg Cassini, whom she met in the movie business where he designed costumes, was turbulent throughout. Her family and loved ones had pressured her not to marry him, but she did anyway, and their worst fears materialized.
-worst of all was that her first child, a daughter Daria, was born deaf and nearly blind and also severely retarded mentally, all the result of Gene having contracted German measles at a war bond rally from an afflicted female soldier. After two years, Gene gave up trying to care for Daria herself and allowed her to be institutionalized, which she was for the remainder of her 66 years. Daria had the mind of a 1 and 1/2 year old. But, Gene visited Daria and supported her, and it was the utmost tragedy of her life.
-her relationship with John F. Kennedy, who never mistreated her, but when he decided not to marry her, it was devastating for her. She had such high hopes that they were going to have a life together.
-after that, she reconciled briefly with Oleg, and they conceived their second child, Christina, who was born healthy. It’s interesting that although they lived in America, they decided to speak only French at home so that Tina would learn that language first. At the time she started school, Tina spoke very little English. But again, Gene’s relationship with Oleg tumbled, and they split up again for good, and she became a single mother raising a daughter.
In addition to all that, she had all the usual stresses of being an actress, the competition, the pressure, etc. Plus, there were other turbulent relationships with men, such as with the Pakistani jet setting playboy, Ali Khan, which she never felt right about.
Her mental illness surfaced, as it often does, as depression. She’d wake up in the morning and not want to get out of bed. But, the second thing was an inability to concentrate, to focus. She couldn’t remember her lines. And it wasn’t just that she couldn’t remember them; she couldn’t learn them in the first place. She would read the lines out-loud several times, or even many times, but then when she put the paper down, she couldn't remember a thing. That occurred first during the making of A Private Affair in England. She got through it, but the problem only worsened. By the time she went to California to film The Left Hand of God with Humphrey Bogart, she was a mess; she fell apart completely. She couldn’t remember anything. She got through the movie, but only because Bogart fed her her lines, reciting them before she did so she could repeat them, which required a lot of editing at the end to conceal. Bogie had a sister who was severely ill mentally whom he supported, and he recognized the signs in Gene. He urged her to get help. So, after the completion of that movie, Gene returned to Connecticut and sought medical help. She wound up at a prominent residential psychiatric clinic called the Hartford Retreat.
That began years of institutionalized treatment for Gene, and I’ll say first that I am not sure that any of it was beneficial or played any role in her recovery. It included 32 shock treatments: electro-convulsive therapy, like Jack Nicholson’s character received in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. In later years, Gene became an ardent and outspoken critic of shock treatments. She came to feel that they did nothing but destroy her memory and harm her otherwise.
She also received drugs, and she said that at one point, she was the most heavily drugged patient there. She never named any of the drugs she was given. I don’t know what they were, but I think it’s likely that they have all fallen out of use in Medicine.
And she received some psychoanalysis and talk therapy as well, although she sounded critical of that too, from what I could gather. She complained that they kept trying to plumb the depths of her unhappy childhood, but she kept telling them that her childhood was happy.
So, what did she speak of positively about all the treatment? It was the general caring and compassion that she received from the doctors and nurses. That she appreciated, and that she felt really helped her. Perhaps it is the only thing that really helped her.
She got out after about a year, and she resumed living with her mother and her daughter Tina, who was now in school. But then, she started deteriorating again, to where she wanted to spend the whole day in bed and would have if her mother had let her. One day, she had a close brush with suicide when she walked out on the ledge of their high-rise apartment building.
And that resulted in her being re-institutionalized at the famed Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas. She was there for over a year and received the same kind of treatment as before. When she got out, the first thing she did was accompany her mother and daughter on a skiing trip to Aspen, Colorado. There she met the man who would become her second husband, Texas Oilman W. Howard Lee. He was 11 years older, and he fell head over heels in love for her. That was in 1958, and they may have gotten married sooner, but she was planning her movie comeback, and as she got involved in it, she started deteriorating again mentally and behaviorally. She became rambling and incoherent, and even Howard noticed. Willingly, she re-entered the Menninger Clinic and stayed there another full year. But, that was the last time she was to be institutionalized. She and Howard Lee got married in July 1960, and they lived together happily until his death in 1981, so over 20 years. She never needed to be hospitalized again, but she did continue to see a psychiatrist and take medication. And she did achieve a remarkable comeback as a movie actress- not as a leading lady but in supporting roles in several movies for which she received wide acclaim. Her last movie was The Pleasure Seekers in 1964, but she did several television projects after that, all the way until 1980.
She and Howard lived in Houston, where she got very involved in charitable work there. He died in 1981, and she lived 10 more years until 1991, but never remarried. The cause of her death was given as emphysema.
And that brings us to Gene Tierney’s habits. Since she died of emphysema at age 71, you might suspect that she smoked, and you would be right. But, she didn’t start smoking until she got into movies, and it’s a darn shame what happened. She was encouraged to start smoking because she had a high, girlish voice which they wanted to lower. So, she took up smoking, and she got hooked. She became a heavy smoker, and at times a chain smoker.
It seems strange that a woman whose whole career was launched by her fabulous looks would take up such a beauty-destroying habit as smoking. But, of course, she wasn’t the only one. Back then, they didn’t recognize the age-accelerating and uglifying effects that smoking has.
Regarding her food, she was a conventional eater. Things like steaks and barbecue were mentioned. Also eggs; she was very fond of eggs and enjoyed having laying hens at home to get fresh eggs. A fondness for desserts was also mentioned. But, she said that during filming she would watch her weight closely and stick to vegetables and lean meats.
But, she was not a big drinker. She drank socially, but it wasn’t a problem for her. And she said nothing about indulging in illicit drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, etc.
She was quite active physically, playing tennis from a young age. And, her first husband Oleg was an outstanding tennis player who apparently could have gone pro if he wanted to. He played Davis Cup tennis for Italy as a young man. So, that was something they had in common.
Apparently, her psychiatric diagnosis was manic depression. And, undoubtedly, it was triggered by the traumas that she experienced, particularly the tragedy of her first daughter Daria. Today, they treat manic depression, now called bipolar disorder, with various drugs, none of which were around in her time. And, the use of lithium got established in 1970, which was also after her worst time with it. But, I have to wonder if she started to take lithium after it became available in the 1970s, and perhaps she did.
Lithium is a naturally occurring mineral, and it does have a stabilizing effect on mood and on nerves. And, it occurs in trace amounts in food. We actually sell a low-dose version of lithium called lithium orotate. It provides 4.5 milligrams of lithium per tablet. It is much weaker than the lithium compounds used in Medicine, but for some people, it seems to suffice. It’s also much safer to take than the prescription forms of lithium.
But, I am left with unanswered questions about Gene Tierney. Would she ever have gotten sick if not for all the stresses in her life, particularly her impaired daughter? I mentioned that she lauded the caring and compassion that she received from the medical staff, but I don’t think it’s right to consider that therapeutic. So, to what extent was she helped by the specific treatments she received? And to what extent was she harmed by them?
I suspect that her signature movie will always be considered Laura, which I have seen more than once. Recently, I watched her in The Mating Season from 1951, which was a comedy, and it’s very good. I recommend it. I liked it better than Heaven Can Wait which is more of a farce. But, I intend to watch her in The Left Hand of God which she made in the throes of mental illness, but only with the generous and compassionate support of Humphrey Bogart. I'd like to see how it came out.
Gene Tierney. What a life. It was an incredible mixture of vaunted highs and desperate lows, neither of which she could ever have imagined or anticipated as a girl. I’m sure she’ll always be remembered as one of the great film stars and great beauties of all time. However, she is no one to envy. They say that money can't buy happiness, but, apparently, neither can beauty.
I have written on sleep before, but it's been some time, so I thought I would do an update. Millions upon millions of people develop sleep problems, especially as they get older. The fact is that the biological switch that toggles us back and forth between wakefulness and sleep doesn't work as well when we get older. Even people who live healthfully can face this problem, and it's challenging because it is so chronic and intractable.
The most important thing, in my opinion, is not to do the wrong thing. And that would be to start taking pharmaceutical drugs for sleep. Sleeping pills, such as Ambien, are among the most prescribed drugs in the world, with annual sales in the billions. And besides the standard sleep drugs, there are still a lot of doctors who prescribe benzodiazepine tranquilizers for sleep, even though they are highly habit-forming and addictive. And there is a push in Medicine to go back to certain sedating antidepressants for sleep, such as Trazadone.
I am not in favor of any of these drugs, and I think it is a big mistake to get started on them- any of them. None of them deliver real, natural sleep, and that's what you want. Just because a drug "knocks you out" doesn't mean that you are experiencing healthy sleep. I say don't bother with any of them. If you have to struggle with your sleep, then struggle with it, but don't start taking drugs because you are never going to get a good result that way.
So, what can you take? There is always melatonin. People report different results from taking melatonin, but it's bound to improve your sleep some- if only a little. The melatonin product that I use and recommend is not available on this site. It is Dr. Walter Pierpaoli's MZS Melatonin. It is manufactured in Switzerland and wasn't available here until recently. I used to have to order it from England, but now you can find it on Amazon.com. So, do a search for it there. And the good news is that it is not expensive. Dr. Pierpaoli designed his product so that it would produce a nighttime peak in melatonin between 1 and 3 AM. He believes it is VERY important to achieve that. He also adds small amounts of zinc and selenium to the product for their synergistic roles in melatonin metabolism. And remember that melatonin has many health benefits besides sleep enhancement. It is truly an anti-aging hormone.
I still think that sedative herbs can be useful, and my favorite is Lemon Balm. The problem with taking a combination herbal product (and there are many) is that you don't know what's working and what's not. So, I prefer to take one at a time, and I would start with Lemon Balm because I think it's the best.
Theanine is an amino acid from green tea with calming effects. It also increases alpha brain waves, which support relaxation, and it increases the brain's production of the inhibitory neurotransmitter, gamma amino butyric acid, also known as GABA. I like the Sun Theanine from the Japan, and I think it is an excellent product to take to aid with sleep. Keep in mind that it is not directly sedating. You could take it during the day and not feel sleepy at all. But, it does induce relaxation and calmness which are conducive to falling to sleep. That's what you want: to fall asleep.
The minerals magnesium and calcium both have relaxing effects, and you could take those at night to aid sleep. And of the two, I particularly value magnesium.
Finally, the amino acid Taurine has a relaxing effect on the brain, and it does all kinds of good things for your body. Millions are getting insufficient Taurine anyway. The only way to get a lot from from food is to eat a lot of organ meats (such as cow heart) and fish. Vegetarians don't get any taurine at all. So, how do they get by? The body can convert another sulfur-containing amino acid, methionine, which is abundant in food, into taurine. But again, it's a conversion that slacks off with age. I'm all for getting some pre-formed taurine, and I think it's a good idea in general. Taking 500 to 1500 mgs of Taurine a day can be a very good thing to do.
Those are my main recommendations for sleep aids, and again, it's all about supporting sleep indirectly so that you can fall asleep; not be knocked out.
But in addition, do as many other things right as possible to enhance sleep. Eat healthy and nutritious foods, and avoid junk. Get sunlight in your eyes, especially in the morning. Exercise every day, and the more the better as far as sleep is concerned. You've got to earn your sleep through exercise. And finally, if you have other issues interfering with your sleep, such as an anxiety disorder or depression, then you should seek help for that. But again, I prefer non-pharmacological solutions.
It's possible, even likely, that no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you are NEVER going to sleep like a baby again. And you may have to wrestle with your sleep- to some extent- for the rest of your life. Well, join the club because millions are in that boat. But, don't panic; don't get desperate; and don't do the wrong thing. Work on your sleep, and doctor it sensibly, but don't follow the masses into drug dependency on this important issue. Sleep is a physiological process, and it cannot be forced.
I decided to read a biography of JD Salinger partly because of The Catcher in the Rye, which I read in high school, and partly because of his reputation for being so reclusive and hermetic and eccentric. He was known to say that he was in this world but not of it. That was very aptly put, but then again, he was a writer.
To this day, Catcher in the Rye which was published in 1951, the year of my birth, is considered the ultimate novel of teenage angst and rebellion. The character of 17 year old Holden Caulfield was based to a great extent on Salinger himself. The theme is that Holden is on the threshold of adulthood, but he sees so much hypocrisy and so much phoniness in the adult world that he’s not sure he wants to be part of it. Holden is considered one of the most enduring and influential characters in 20th Century American literature, and the only reason why you haven’t seen him on the silver screen is because Salinger wouldn’t allow it.
And that’s another strange thing about Salinger: he apparently didn’t care much for money. He turned down offers that would have made him an Ungodly fortune. His last published work came out in 1965, and after that he retired, not from writing, but from publishing. He continued writing, working like a fiend, and reportedly putting out novels and short stories galore which the world has never seen.
Jerome David Salinger was born in 1919, the son of Solomon and Miriam Salinger. They were Jewish, but Miriam was actually Irish, and she converted to Judaism. Her given name was Mary, and she changed it to Miriam. Salinger grew up thinking that he was 100% Jewish when he was really only half Jewish. I’m pointing it out because his identity as a Jew played a major role in the direction that his life took, which I will explain.
His father was an importer of specialty meats and cheeses from Europe, and his business did well, even during the Great Depression. So, they got to live on Park Avenue, and Jerome (who was called Sonny at home) got to attend posh schools. But, he was a poor student, and he flunked out several times. And it was no different at college; he flunked out of several, including Columbia University. He never did complete a college degree.
His father sent him to Europe for a year to learn the family business. Salinger would later say that his father made him work in a pig slaughterhouse for a year. He spent the time in Poland and Austria, and he saw and experienced the rising tide of anti-Semitism. And when WW2 broke out, he knew right away that he wanted to fight the Nazis- and it was from what he had seen in Europe.
But, the US Army turned him down initially because of a heart defect. It didn’t say what it was, but it probably was a heart murmur. But after a while, they needed more boots on the ground, so they relaxed their medical standards, and Salinger got in.
Now, at that point, he was already semi-successful as a writer. During his time at Columbia, he had a Creative Writing teacher named Whit Burnett, who was the Editor of Story magazine. Whit saw Salinger’s potential and encouraged him to write, and eventually, he published his first story, which was widely praised. And that led to other published stories, including one that was published in The New Yorker magazine, which brought very wide acclaim. So, by the time Salinger entered the US Army, he was already accomplished as a writer.
And, as with other famous people with unique talents, the Army really didn’t want to use him as a fighting man. They wanted to use him as a writer. And he did write for them. He wrote a short story that was meant to stir up passions to join the war effort. And it worked. It was considered excellent. However, Salinger never considered it anything but a fluff piece.
However, like Jimmy Stewart who insisted on getting in the thick of the action, Salinger did the same. So, he was indeed sent into battle. On D-Day, he landed on Utah Beach in the thick of it and then fought in the Battle of the Hedgerows and other fierce battles. Then, he was part of the first American unit to enter Paris. And in Paris, he got to meet Ernest Hemingway who was working as a war correspondent for Collier’s magazine. And Hemingway had heard of him and read some of his stories and had a lot of respect for him. They got to talk shop about writing for hours. Salinger and Hemmingway got to be good friends and stayed so for the duration, but it's interesting that Salinger did not include Hemmingway among his favorite authors.
Then, Salinger was part of the first American unit to enter Germany territory. Then, after months of hard fighting, his unit, the 12th Infantry Regiment, was sent to Luxembourg for some R&R. But there, they got slammed by the strongest battalion left in the German Army. And that developed into the Battle of the Bulge, which was the costliest military conflict in US military history. The death toll was staggering. The 12th started with about 4000 men, but by war’s end, there were only about 1000 left.
And it wasn’t just the fighting that killed them, but also, the elements. The American Brass was so confident that the D-Day Invasion was going to bring the war to a speedy end, that they didn’t bother to provision for the next winter. Well, military progress was swift, but it wasn’t that swift. Indeed, they were fighting through the winter, and the winter of 1944/1945 was one of the most severe on record. You recall how at Valley Forge, it was so cold that men were dying of frostbite, and the same thing happened to Napoleon’s Army, which lost more men to the Russian winter than to Russian bullets. Well, believe it or not, it was the same way during WW2. Salinger spent many nights shivering in foxholes.
But, he was a linguistic genius. He was an intelligence officer and also a spokesman. For instance, when they liberated a town, they would have him stand up on a truck and speak to the locals about what was going to happen next. Why him? Because, with very little academic training, he could speak both French and German fluently.
But, when the war finally ended, he had to enter a mental hospital- for months. He was diagnosed with what today we call post-traumatic stress disorder. And when he got out, he surprised everyone by deciding to remain in Germany to work for the Army as an interrogator. In fact, he was stationed at Nuremberg, and he was involved in interrogating Nazis. And he was doing it now as a civilian. But, the main reason he decided to stay is because he fell in love with a German woman, Sylvia Welter, although he told his family and friends that she was French. They spent one relatively blissful year together (in the marital sense) in Nuremberg. But then, when his contract with the Army expired, the two of them set sail for New York and moved in with his parents on Park Avenue. That was a bad idea. Sylvia and Miriam did NOT get along. And after a few months, Sylvia returned to Germany alone. Ironically though, she wound up coming back here as the wife of another American, and she spent her life here and had a career as an ophthalmologist. She spent her final years as a widow living in a nursing home- writing about her year and a half with JD Salinger.
Salinger was thrown by the marital breakup, but only for a short while. And as usual, his relief, his escape from uncomfortable reality, was found in writing. He kept putting out short stories, most of which were published in The New Yorker. And incidentally, he continued writing all through the war, even from the foxholes. His story: To Esme’- With Love and Squalor, written during the war, is considered one of the finest literary pieces to come out of the 2nd World War.
It took him years to write Catcher in the Rye. You just have no idea how hard he worked on it. But when it came out in 1951, it made him a literary superstar.
But, he didn’t like the fame. He didn’t want any spotlights on him. So, he ran away to rural New Hampshire, buying 90 acres with a cabin near the town of Cornish. It didn’t even have running water, and he lived that way for a while. But eventually, he converted it into a comfortable, fully equipped residence.
Salinger met a 16 year old girl named Claire Douglass, the daughter of an acquaintance of his. And they instantly felt a connection, even though he was a little over 30. The book emphasized that he had no inappropriate physical contact with her when she was a minor. And when she was 22, they got married. They had two children, Margaret (Peggy) and Matthew. Salinger loved his wife, and he adored his kids. And when he was with them, he was with them. But, nothing and no one took precedence over his writing. He built himself a bunker- a writing bunker- on his property, and he spent 12 hours a day there, and sometimes more. And he did not like being disturbed when he was working. It was a major strain on Claire, and after some years (less than 10) she left the marriage.
His life changed after that. At one point, he got romantically involved with an 18 year old girl. She was of legal age, so there were no legal issues, but many considered it sordid. Late in life, he got married for the third time to a local woman from Cornish, Colleen Zakreski, who was 35 years his junior.
He continued writing short stories for The New Yorker, and he wrote several novellas, but it all ended in 1965 with the publication of Hapworth 16, 1924. He said that would be the last work he would publish, and he stuck to it. But he lived to 2010! And he claimed to be writing furiously between 1965 and 2010! There is actually a chance that at some point in the future, more Salinger stories are going to see daylight.
But now, let’s talk about his health because this is a health blog.
He lived 91 years, which is well beyond average. And it’s surprising for one reason in particular: he was a heavy smoker. The book I read is entitled J.D. Salinger, A Life by Kenneth Slawenski, and Ken said that even by the time he was a young man, Salinger’s fingers were stained yellow from all the nicotine. And, it never said anything about him quitting. A lot of smokers, even heavy smokers, do eventually quit. But, I have found no references to him quitting. It doesn’t mean he didn’t, but we can’t assume that he did. And even if he did, he smoked for most of his life, and I don’t think there is any reason to doubt that.
Salinger drank alcohol regularly, and I mean hard liquor. The book didn’t say anything about him getting intoxicated, but he liked to drink. And people have pointed out that there is a lot of drinking in his stories; his characters tend to be drinkers, even his admirable characters. Alcohol is incorporated into most of his stories. To me, it shows a lot of appreciation for alcohol. I am reminded of Ayn Rand who made all her characters bigtime smokers who celebrated the joy of smoking. Why? Because that’s how she was. And I, for one, do not consider alcohol a health positive. I definitely put it on the negative side of the health ledger.
So, what did he have going for him on the positive side? First, Salinger was thin his whole life: thin as a boy, thin as a man, and thin in maturity. He never got fat. And that counts for a lot. Caloric undernutrition is the most proven life-extending modality that we know of, and it’s been proven in many different species. Second, in a big, committed way, Salinger got into eating fresh food. And not just eating it, but growing it. When he got up to New Hampshire, he got into organic gardening, and that was before people even talked about organic gardening. He really wanted fresh uncontaminated, uncompromised food. He grew all he could, and he bought locally otherwise. He was quite active physically. He was no big sportsman, but he played sports with his kids. And he was a homesteader who did work around his spread. I don’t think his health suffered from lack of exercise.
But, here’s another thing: he shied away from medical doctors most all his life. He much preferred natural methods; he was wary of medical drugs. He became very spiritual but unconventionally. He got into Eastern religion and Easter mysticism. He got directly involved in the Self-Realization Foundation and the Yogananda. He practiced yoga. He meditated. He avoided Western Medicine as much as possible. I regard that as a major positive- not that there aren’t exceptions where you need Western Medicine. But, you’ll often find that very long-lived peoples have had little involvement with Medicine, where they have steered clear of it for most or all of their lives.
But, admittedly, another big factor is that both his parents reached their 90s, dying within a month of each other. There’s no denying that genes play a major role in longevity.
Though I think 91 isn’t bad as a lifespan, I think we should try to do better. Why not? I’ll never forget something my father said to me once. It was when he was in his early 70s. We were talking about someone who was very long-lived, and I asked him if he would like to live that long. And his answer was: “As long as I’m feeling good.”
And I agree that quality of life is more important than quantity. So, how was Salinger’s quality of life? It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. He was subject to painful bouts of Shingles. He developed a major hand tremor, which had to make it difficult for him to write. (He did his writing on an old mechanical typewriter, and he hunted and pecked with two fingers. He never learned touch-typing). And shortly before he died, he broke his hip. In fact, that may have been the catalyst that caused him to die. That’s how it often goes when an elderly person breaks a hip. Both the book I read, and every other source I’ve seen, have it listed that Salinger died of “natural causes.” Period. And I have no doubt whatsoever that that was HIS doing, that he arranged it that way. He took his privacy very seriously.
Cynthia Lennon, the first wife of John Lennon, died today of cancer at the age of 75. Her son and only child, Julian, wrote a beautiful song to her, which you can find on Youtube.
And it so happens that I just finished reading her memoir about her life with John Lennon and after John Lennon called John.
And I can tell you that it is well-written and an excellent read. It is candid; honest; and it is very revealing. She didn't hold back. She was just a normal girl with normal ambitions and normal expectations who happened to meet John Lennon at art college. He was the bad boy, and she was the good girl, and their union was not instant. But, once it started, it had all the intensity of young love- a very passionate connection.
But, they broke up once- after he hit her hard, in the face. It was because he thought she had flirted with another boy, which she hadn’t. But, he saw it that way, and he lost control of himself. But, after some weeks, he apologized to her for that and told her that he would NEVER strike her again. And that's one promise that he kept.
Such a thing is never defensible for any reason, and one should never make excuses for it or make light of it. However, I don't think it would be fair to characterize him- the person that he was, at the core of his being- based on that one incident.
The actual circumstance of their wedding was the unplanned conception of their son Julian. It was after the Beatles were going but before they made it big. But, it wasn't a forced marriage. They sincerely loved each other, and it was something they both very much wanted. And the marriage lasted for 10 years.
So, how did such a strong passion (which they undoubtedly had) go wrong? The incredible success of the Beatles had a lot to do with it. It would have been an awful lot for anyone to adjust to. And, it didn’t help that he was gone an awful lot- on world tours, making movies, etc. She traveled with him sometimes, but not always and not usually.
She heard rumors of infidelities, but she didn't provoke him about it. And when he finally came clean in admitting it, he said that it was just sex, that the one he loved was her, only her. I guess that was supposed to be a comfort. But, my impression from reading the book is that his trysts on the road were not the cardinal reason for their break-up. In many ways, she was very tolerant of him; you might say too tolerant.
Of course, the one tryst that mattered a whole lot and changed everything was the one he had with Yoko Ono. But, Yoko Ono was really more the last straw than the cause of his break-up with Cynthia because their marriage was already on the rocks and crumbling at the time John and Yoko met. So, what was the cause? It was mainly drugs; his use of drugs.
John Lennon got started early on drugs. He had an affinity for them. He was a heavy smoker from a young age. And tobacco is a drug, right? He got into alcohol early too. And the culture for him, as it was and is for many, is that getting drunk, getting wasted is a good thing, that it's something to aspire to. And on the Beatles' first tour of the US, they met Bob Dylan, and Dylan introduced them to marijuana, which the Beatles took to heavily. Did they love marijuana? From that point on, they had employees repack cigarettes with marijuana so that they could travel with it freely all over the world. It worked most of the time, but occasionally it didn't, such as in Japan.
But, "Cyn" could tolerate all that; it was the LSD she couldn't stand. And John was one of those guys who, when he got into something, he got into it big-time. And, he got into LSD big-time. And, he wanted her to trip-out with him, which she did, several times, at his insistence. But, she never liked it. It was always a horrible experience for her. She never had a good trip. And finally, she refused to do it with him at all. So, he did it with others or by himself. Obviously, that was not good for the marriage.
And when he met Yoko, she introduced him to the joys of heroin. And pretty soon after that, it was all over for him and Cyn, and pretty soon after that, it was all over for the Beatles as well.
Previously, I read a long biography of John Lennon. I am most intrigued with musical genius, so I like to read the biographies of musical geniuses, which I think John Lennon was. But, from reading Cynthia's memoir, I definitely came away with the feeling that he was a very troubled, and in many ways, very dysfunctional person. Despite all the “awareness” one is supposed to get from taking LSD, he became increasingly unaware- of the hurt he was causing her and others- others who loved him very much.
Cyn tried very hard to save the marriage- for her son’s sake and even for her own sake because she continued to love John. And even after Yoko came along, if John had agreed to straighten out and curtail further involvement with her, Cyn would have forgiven him. That’s the impression I got. But, it was just the opposite. Although he was the offending party, he acted as though Cyn had betrayed him.
From the health perspective, it is interesting that Cyn reported that the heavy drug use, particularly the LSD, suppressed his appetite, and the result was that he started losing weight. And then when he met Yoko, she right away got him started on a Macrobiotic diet, consisting mainly of brown rice and vegetables. Of course, that is healthy food- don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of people who would benefit greatly from eating more brown rice and vegetables. But if that’s all you eat is brown rice and vegetables, and if your system is used to eating chipped beef, Yorkshire pudding, fish and chips, and whatever else the British eat over there, you are going to lose weight. Of course, the weight loss is a good thing if you happen to be overweight, but he was never overweight; that wasn't his nature. John Lennon was a classic "ectomorph": long and lean and thin by nature. So, the radical and extreme change in diet was simply too much for him, and it resulted in undesired weight loss. And his weight loss continued and worsened. Eventually, he was nearly emaciated.
The bottom line is that John Lennon was very much inclined towards: obsession, and Yoko Ono became his latest obsession. Most painful of all to Cyn was that John’s obsession with Yoko very much hurt his relationship with his son, Julian. Inexplicably, John went long periods without seeing Julian- for years. And, it may have been longer if left entirely to himself. But, I don’t doubt that he loved his son. It's just that he kept waiting for things to settle down, but they never did.
And he loved his other son too, whom he had with Yoko, Sean. But, he would get moody and snappy with his kids, especially with Julian. He just did not have the patience to be around kids.
And let’s face it: children require a lot of patience. But, that’s something that John Lennon did not have. For example, he reacted badly to the way Julian laughed. And I don’t mean just to make fun of him for the way he laughed, which would have been bad enough, but rather, he got seriously irritated with him about it. “Don’t you ever let me hear you laugh like that again” he would scream. Who does that to a child?
But eventually, John started having Julian make visits from England to his famous residence at the Dakota Apartments in New York, across from Central Park. So, it was him and Yoko and Julian and Sean and whatever servants they had. There was no mention of him doing sports with the boy, but he did get him started in music, teaching him the guitar, etc. And, you know that Julian Lennon went on to become a successful musician in his own right. The song he wrote as a tribute to his mother really is lovely.
But, for the most part, it is a very tragic story with far more lows and than highs. (I don't mean in the drug sense.) It’s tragic because of the way John Lennon died, but it’s also tragic because of the way he lived. And, it is tragic because of what he didn’t get to do. He never really reached the level of friendship and accord with Julian to make up for all the years of neglect. And that’s according to both Cynthia and Julian. And he never really came around to apologizing to Cynthia and acknowledging the fact that she was OK: as a wife, as a friend, and as his partner in life. It was him; it wasn't her. She was true-blue.
She was as devoted to him as any woman could be to any man. And, I think it was her nature to be that way; very loyal and devoted and faithful. But, his drug-laden mind would play tricks on him and make him see things that weren't real. Such as: if she was just friendly and warm to someone, a man, John took it as a sign that she was pining for the guy and scheming to bed him. It was ridiculous. And, it seems that to a great extent it was his way of rationalizing his own infidelities- by seeing the same fault in her, which did not exist.
He wasn't good at being a husband or a father, and it was partly because his own parental experience was so bad. His father had walked out at the beginning- so he really had no father. The man, Alfred Lennon, did show up after John had become wealthy and famous, but mainly to put his hand out. Did John help him? Yes, he did, but it never led to anything good.
And there was a problem with his mother too. She was living with a man who was not her husband, and the whole situation was deemed sordid, and John was placed in the custody of his Aunt Mimi, who became his mother figure. He did see his mother, Julia, who was Mimi’s sister, but it was more like visiting his aunt. So basically, his aunt became his mother; and his mother became his aunt; their roles were reversed. And then, his mother Julia died suddenly in an auto accident when he was only 12. And, by the way, his tribute song to his mother, entitled Julia, is very beautiful. Hey, John Lennon was a musical genius; an immense talent- talented enough to write so many beautiful and enduring songs. If he had only written Imagine, it would have been enough to make him worthy of permanent recognition, in my opinion. But, all this musical creativity went on despite his chronic drug abuse. But, I don’t think for one second that the drugs were the source of his creativity. That is ridiculous. The creativity came from him, not the drugs. And, I think he oscillated between being high and coming down from being high, and both states were very destabilizing. I think it came down to the “Law of Dual Effects” that Herbert Shelton used to talk about, where the high that people get from drugs, whether LSD or cocaine or heroin or whatever, is followed by a low when the initial effect of the drug wears off. It leaves you depressed- very depressed. And that, I suspect, was the primary cause of his erratic behavior, which included angry outbursts, mood swings, sullen withdrawn periods, and a whole lot of insensitivity and callousness. He was ping-ponging back and forth between various drug states and the effects of drug withdrawal, and that went on for years; decades.
And the irony is that once he realized that he had a lot of influence on people, he tried to use it for good, such as joining and even leading the Anti-War movement. So, he cared about people; he cared about humankind. But, he never developed the ability to relate well to people one-on-one, especially to the people he was closest to, and particularly his own family.
At the very end of the book, Cynthia Lennon summed it up, and she did not mince words. She wrote this:
“I never stopped loving John, but the cost of that love has been enormous. Someone asked me recently whether, if I’d known at the beginning what lay ahead, I would have gone through with it. I had to say no. Of course, I could never regret having my wonderful son, Julian. But the truth is that if I had known as a teenager what falling for John Lennon would lead to, I would have turned around right then and walked away.”
As I said, it is a tragic story, and really, it is heart-wrenching. Oh, but what music. If you were going to list the top songwriters of the rock and roll era, it's hard to Imagine John Lennon not making everyone's short list.